Jealousy is a universal phenomenon, present almost everywhere – both in humans and animals, at all ages – from early childhood to late age, in partnerships, in the workplace, in politics. The counselling clinic st catharines is a place where you can find professional help when trying to deal with jealousy.
The affective basis of jealousy is the fear of separation and the fear of loss. Hence in every jealousy there is a need for possession and mastery.
Genetically, the beginnings of jealousy are in the relationship between brothers and sisters, and especially towards the newly born little rival in the struggle for a mother’s love. In adults, jealousy is most commonly manifested in a partnership. In this case, it refers to both the lover suspected of being unfaithful and the rival who purports to alter the partner. Although the word is etymologically closely related to love, psychologically this connection is not so solid. Some psychoanalysts even claim that the most jealous are those who cannot love but just have to feel loved and that the intensity of their jealousy does not match the intensity of their love.
Jealousy is a normal and abnormal pathological condition. As a bearer of passion and emotion, one cannot be immune to jealousy, and jealousy reactions are possible within a loving relationship. Due to the fear of losing our emotional partner, we are trying to solidify our emotional investments. In that sense, it is a “normal” feeling. On the other hand, however, jealousy that transcends the boundaries of transient jealousy reactions and becomes chronic creates a deadlock in individuation, narrows the creative potential of man and reduces him to a one-dimensional person – scared, vindictive, narcissistic, possessive, inferior and dependent. The jealousy response to loss is a mixture of depression, aggression and longing. Jealousy can also be dangerous, as hatred, aggression and the desire to rule are born of it.
Jealous people are known to be often prone to angry reactions. Through jealousy initiation, they can find the opportunity to develop an undefined and grounded strength of character.
Jealousy is often reduced to insecurity, to the ordinary ego phalanx, which greatly simplifies its complexity and avoids the deeper layers of the psyche in which it has settled. It is important to deal with its content – ideas, memories, fantasies, imaginations, emotions.
Interestingly, in Greek mythology, the woman of the greatest of all gods is known primarily for her jealousy. Hera is the wife of Zeus, a God known for craving cosmic proportions. While his craving is directed toward the world, his craving is directed toward the home, toward the preservation of the hearth and the interior. In Hera’s faith, possessiveness is one of the great virtues and from her point of view it is necessary to be angry over unbelief.
A real relationship with another person sets demands, seeks attachment and dependence, carries the risk of feeling the unbearable pain of separation and finding fulfillment in partnership with another – these are traditional attributes of Hera.